Keepin On, Keepin' On

The past year has been one filled with major stress, anxiety, and utmost frustrations in regards to work.  Other aspects of my life continued to grow and thrive.  Dormant activities and loves grew out of the underground.  It felt great to get back to those feelings and joys that I hadn't felt in such a long time.  I fell in love twice during the past year.  ONe was with a girl and that didn't work out.  And the second time was with photography again.  It's great and I feel just a release while taking pictures.  I started looking at several peoples blogs to see.  I quickly moved to comparing my styles and skills to theirs.  It took me a long time to get away from that and to look at them for ideas and inspiration.

But again work as been such a struggle to continue to try and be positive for it.  I've felt for a while now that I've got one foot out the door.  And with only 5 and a half weeks left, in some aspects I do have one foot out the door.  But I got sucked back in last night. 

Our board met to choose a family for the three bedroom house we just started working on.  Linda Williams was chosen along with her two daughters.  It's a three bedroom one bath house.  I had the privilege of calling LInda last night and telling her the good news.  She filled out her application over a year ago.  It has taken the board this long to meet and decide on a family.  They say that everything runs slower in the Delta, but that is just crazy.  Bus so I called Linda last night, left a message with her daughter.  She called back 15 minutes later or so.  Linda was so happy and excited.  She was speechless.  

I had to ask, "Linda? Are you still there?"

"Yes.  I...I'm...I'm still here," as she tried to hold back tears.  That happened a few times.  I then  began to make plans with her for us to meet and she could meet some of the group.  She asked when, I told her when she didn't have to work.  She came over this morning, took some time off of work and came over with her eldest daughter, Lucinda,18.  She got to meet some of the group and got to see the house in its skeletal state.  She told me that, after our phone call that she drove by the house a bunch of times. 

I still had that foot out the door mentality talking with her last night.  Eric called a few minutes after that.  I told him the news.  It wasn't til he said it that it hit me.  "You made such an impact on her life.  You just fucking changed her world."  Those were the words that made me pull my foot back in from the other side of the door.  I know I won't be around to see Linda move into her house.  But I've been rejuvinated to see how far I can get it for her, so she can move in, in about a year or so.  I've become excited for her and her daughters.  You should have seen her face light up when I told her that she gets to choose the colors of her own house.  Me?? I get to do that? 

It was great for me to get those feelings, that I had when I first started working here, to get them back, after being gone for so long.  These are the reasons that I started working here, and that I signed on for a second year. 

Things are coming pretty fast now, work, what to do next.  I still don't have a clue what I'll be doing or where I'll be come August.  But right now, I'm just enjoying this positive good feeling that has been missing most of the year.